GeneralHealth Info

What About the Boys?
by Wes Graves, Sr.

A question that is frequently asked at workshops and speaking engagements is:

"What About the Boys?"

And that is a question that often occupies our thoughts as well. I recognize that, in her roles as a Nurse Practitioner, parent of two grown daughters, and founder of DoubleSunrise, it is important that Virginia be devoted to young women. I support the continuation of this work to "enhance the health of young women" and the commitment to carrying out those ideas that will make a huge difference for girls and their parents.

Having spent my life as a business owner or in sales, I have been intrigued by Virginia's entrepreneurial spirit and courage as she gave birth to her dream of sharing the DoubleSunrise message. And as I listen to Virginia and talk with many parents across the country, I have continually applied what I have learned, heard, and seen to boys and men.

"Keeping connected…in order to grow" is how DoubleSunrise applies the work of contemporary developmental researchers such as Jean Baker Miller of Wellesley College. They have found that, contrary to the traditional importance of "autonomy and separation" for growth into adulthood, what girls really need to grow is connection. Of particular interest to me is that, though their research has been focused on girls, early indications show it to be true for boys and men as well. The DoubleSunrise message and the messages offered on the DoubleSunrise web site are easily adapted to adolescent boys. I understand this more and more with time and believe parents and professionals and boys themselves yearn to know it as well.

"Relevance To Boys- Feedback from middle school educators… has suggested that the research findings… are applicable to boys as well." Raising Confident and Competent Girls, 2000 by Marx, Erkut, Fields and Clayton, Wellesley Center for Research on Women

Two books have recently caught my attention. Joe Kelley, the founder of Dads and Daughters, a national organization dedicated to improving father- daughter relationships, has legitimized for me the importance of the father's role in guiding a girl through adolescence. I have concluded that the same is true for boys. William Pollack, a researcher at Harvard Medical School for over twenty years, gives parents real insight into the complications involved in raising boys in his New York Times bestseller, Real Boys. I am very encouraged and excited at this new attention given boys.

Applying my own experience as father of two grown daughters and a son, I now curiously watch five granddaughters and six grandsons approach these critical years. With my life experience and study, and commitment to the issues that will contribute to the welfare of youth in America today, I know I can offer some sound, practical, and thoughtful advice and encouragement to boys and their parents. As I near the end of my business career, I want to take time for the other half of these adolescent issues, and this vital question…What about the boys?

I would appreciate your feedback or ideas. Please contact me (Wes Graves) at adm@doublesunrise.com.

Written 9/25/02