GirlsHealth

Feeling a Bit Alone?

Friends can be fun one day and disappointing the next. Parents can say "no" at times when it doesn't make sense. All girls feel alone at times.

There are various skills you can develop to take care of yourself during these times. The important action is to reach out:

• to others whom you trust
• to yourself

Reaching out to others can be very helpful when you feel alone. This could be to an adult, neighbor, friend, sister or brother, or even a pet. It can be very comforting to hang out where you feel some gentleness, an ease to be with, or even to have fun. It's not always easy to reach out when you feel alone. When you try it, you put yourself in a position to let some nice things happen...

There are times when it is better to be by yourself, for instance if your friends have decided to do something that you feel uncomfortable about. Perhaps you've reached out some and nobody is home, (and even your pet is not around). This can be an opportunity to develop a most important relationship…with yourself.

Developing a Relationship with Yourself

Illustration by George Ulrich

You will never regret learning more and more about developing a relationship with yourself. Learning to take care of yourself when you feel alone can be an exciting and important skill to develop. Here's some questions you could ask yourself.

What do I need right now? Do I need to be around people or do I need a break from them? Do I need to be active or quiet?

What comforts me? Certain music or movies on video? Writing in a journal? Going out for exercise or curling up with a blanket, herbal tea and a good book?

Want to be with people, but no ones around? It can feel more soothing to be around other people who are also alone. Think about some places where others are also alone. Perhaps it's at a YWCA where you work out, or a track where you could go for a run. Perhaps it's a bookstore or music store that encourages browsing. Another idea is to go to a library, or to take your dog for a walk. Perhaps you know a child you could take to the playground.

Start a list. In your journal start a list of things that you like to do when you're alone. Add to it as you notice, even when you're not lonely, what you like. Also start a list of people that you enjoy being with and add to it regularly. It could come in helpful on days when you'd like some company.

What if I feel a lot more than "a little" lonely?

If you are feeling suicidal or unsafe now or need immediate help, Dial 911 or the operator and just ask for help, or go to your nearest Emergency Room.